But I Love you
by Jaypawluver
Summary: Jaypaw is experiencing events that slowly draw him and a shecat close together.


Disclaimer: **I OWN NOTHING! ****aww :(**

Chapter 1. Sudden Death

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Jaypaw awoke to a cold on his pelt, it felt like a blizzard freezing his pelt, he shivered. He opened his eyes, he was in the familiar Medicine Cat den, the smell of herbs blocking his clanmates' scents. Leafpool was staring out into the clearing where Cinderpaw and Poppypaw were just awakening, Cinderpaw bounced into the Warriors den calling her mentor Cloudtail for training who whinced and told her he would train her later. Cinderpaw was always so full of boundless energy, before you would tell her an answer she was already three tail-lenghts ahead of you. Jaypaw stoped focusing on Cinderpaw and looked at the herbs, he noticed there was hardly any juniper "Leafpool..." he meowed "Should I go fetch more Juniper? We're fairly low on supply" he insisted, Leafpool dragged her eyes away from Cinderpaw _why does she always stare at her like that?_ he though "Oh what..." she looked puzzled then her expresion cleared "Oh yes, do you need an escort? maybe Poppypaw could...", but Jaypaw Boldly interupted "No... I'll be fine on my own..I know where it is.." _and Poppypaw is making it quite obvious that she's very fond of me_ he added silently, then padded out through the bracken. He couldnt help thinking that there was a Thunderclan scent following him, he sniffed the air then his eyes grew a tad wider _Poppypaw.._ he sighed "Alright whos following me?" he meowed out into the surrounding trees, then he saw pink-ish eyes and a pale brown pelt "Heatherpaw?" he called out to the slightly blurry figure standing before him, but then he realized something more shocking, he was looking through _Lionpaw's_ eyes not his own! Was Lionpaw secretly meeting with Heatherpaw and breaking the Warrior-Code? Jaypaw opened his eyes to find himself outside in the forest, the scent of juniper was on the top of his nose. He quickly gathered a bunch and put it gently in his mouth and padded home, wondering the same question _Lionpaw what trouble have you gotten yourself into now?_

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Jaypaw quickly dashed into the Medicine cat den and sat the Fresh batch of Juniper down "Any new cases?" he mewed to Leafpool who replied "Hardly any, Mousefur had a hard time sleeping so i gave her poppy.. but thats it" Jaypaw nodded and sat next to his mentor, he gazed out into the apprentices den and saw that Lionpaw was not there, his eyes widened _Oh Lionpaw.._ he thought _I hope you're not where i think you are_, then his thoughts were interrupted by a voice "Hi Jaypaw" to his surprise it was Poppypaws mew, Jaypaw padded to the clearing to talk to her "Hello Poppypaw" he mewed back, Poppypaw flattened her ears slightly "Me and Thornclaw were out training and he got some scratches, could i have some dock?" Jaypaw padded in and out with the dock in his mouth "Here Poppypaw, be sure to apply it everywhere and take these marigold leaves" he dropped them by her paws "To stop the bleeding..." his voice trailed off. Poppypaw thanked him and he sat outside his den, listening to the Camp's many voices. He heard Cinderpaw, she was sitting on the rock talking with Hollypaw, her gray pelt glimmered in the sun, her blue eyes shone like the sky. Then Jaypaw saw Lionpaw pad into the camp, he looked tired and he looked as if he had _washed _himself _strange..._ Jaypaw thought to himself. He twitched one of his ears, shaking the though off of his mind and got back into the den to sort herbs, today was the gathering at the Moonpool.

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Jaypaw followed Leafpool up the steep hill, his paws aching from the long journey, behind him Willowpaw and Mothwing were stumbling up the hill _whats gotten into them today?_ he wondered, he could hear Willowpaw's paws against the gravel. He smelled an earthy Windclan smell infront of him Barkface and Kestrelpaw were infront of the group, Littlecloud followed. Leafpool began to pad slower "Were almost there" she mewed quickly to Jaypaw, who nodded and felt the soft ground on his paws, it somehow soothed his aching. Quickly the medicine cats' gathered around the pool, Jaypaw's tail twitched _Lionpaw... I hope I was just having another crazy dream._ he though to himself in annoyance. His nose touched the pool, he felt it ripple and he laid himself beside the pool. He felt cold but then it was warm, he opened his eyes; there was Spottedleaf, she was staring at him with a concerned look on her face "Hello Young one.." she whispered to him, Jaypaw sat upright "Oh Spottedleaf.. I'm having some troube with something..." his voice trailed off but Spottedleaf sat up and licked him between the ears, he began to continue again "Lionpaw... Is he really?... I mean meeting with.. Heatherpaw?" his mew had a startling calming sound to it as he finished Spottedleaf looked up at him "Well... You did see... I mean yes" her mew was ashamed "But Jaypaw you must remeber... _all_ cats need someone, and sometimes breaking the Warrior code is the only was to have that.." her tone was flat "But its up to you to understand that Lionpaw is only doing his actions out of foolishness and love... he has no intention of hurting his clan.." she looked at Jaypaw with a calm look, which soothed the stabbing pain he had earlier, how could he accuse Lionpaw of betraying his clan? Lionpaw was just a fool in love.. but he _couldn't_ let him find out _he_ knew. He felt a pelt nudge his ear and then heard Leafpool "Jaypaw... Jaypaw its time to wake up now" her mew was soft and kind, Jaypaw blinked he was back infront of the pool, he felt the dirt under his paws and quickly mewed "Ok... I'm up.. sorry Leafpool" he could feel no emotion in Leafpool and they were talking with the other cats, Willowpaw was talking about using honey with poppyseeds to make it sweeter but Kestrelpaw was arguing that poppyseeds already tast fine; "But some cats have some strange tastes..." Willowpaw pointed out, Kestrelpaw merely shrugged it off and told her "Willowpaw, Poppyseed doesnt really have much of a taste so why do you need to improve it?" there was a hint of rage in his voice, Willowpaw stopped talking about it and shrunk down behind Mothwing. As Jaypaw was padding back he couldnt stop thinking of Lionpaw, was he in the apprentices den or _somewhere else_?

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That next morning Jaypaw was sitting outside in the clearing, the sun shone on his pelt; again he felt Cinderpaw, she had never looked so beautiful in any other weather, Her pelt felt like it had just been washed, he could sense that even in blindness. In his dreams when he had visions of her she was beautiful, her gray pelt and blue eyes, would have made him stare if he was not blind, but he was sure he didnt _love_ Cinderpaw, It was just a little crush; nothing else. He heard Lionpaw at the front of the camp, he bounced over happy to talk to his brother "Hi Lionpa-" he was talk right now, I have to go out and catch prey near the Windclan border..." his mew was brisky and on-edge _Or you're going to see Heatherpaw _Jaypaw added silently.He felt Lionpaw burst out of the camp, then he heard Cinderpaw pad out for training; she was yowling Cloudtail's name eager to get going, as she always was. Jaypaw sighed, but then he heard a noise; it was Firestar "Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather below the highledge" his yowl was sharp, Jaypaw padded forward towards the highrock; he forgot today was Berrypaw and Hazelpaw's Warrior ceremony. Firestar yowled to his clan with great triumph "Berrypaw.." he called to him, Berrypaw bounced up with excitement "Do you promise to uphold the warrior code?" Firestar questioned Berrypaws mew was strong "I do" Firestar rumbled "Then from this day fourth you shall recive your warrior name Berryfur, may Starclan light your path.." the crowd cheered "Berryfur! Berryfur!". Firestar turned to Hazelpaw "Do you promise to uphold the Warrior code?" he asked, Hazelpaw sat upright "I do"; Firestar closed his eyes "Then from this day fourth you shall recive your Warrior name Hazelcloud" his mew was glorious and deep the mews chanted "Hazelcloud! Berryfur!" the two cats sat down in the crowd of Warriors, they were purring. Jaypaw envied them, they didnt have to master the Medicine Cat tasks to get their new names they just had to learn a bunch of fighting moves. Suddenly Jaypaw heard a voice from behind him "Hi Jaypaw!" it was Poppypaw's happy purr , Jaypaw flattened his ears "Hi Poppypaw; Your Warrior ceremony is going to be soon too isnt it?" he mewed, Poppypaw nodded "yes.." there was some slight delight in her mew "Well I better get going" her mew sounded awkward and she padded strangely fast into the apprentices den, _Oh well_ Jaypaw thought _Her affection will go away sometime.. at least I hope it does_.

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That night Jaypaw had a dream; Brown leaves were falling down a tree, he could see two pelts one ginger one pale brown next to each other; flailing around each other _Lionpaw! _Jaypaw yelled but the wind was too strong for them to hear anything, Heatherpaw licked Lionpaw's ear affectionately. The wind was rumbling and it was like Jaypaw was outside his body, just watching; then he noticed some prey; a squirrel come down from a tree, he saw Heatherpaw chase after it into the thunderpath and blood splattered, Heatherpaw lay motionless in the thunderpath, her prey had gotten away and Lionpaw sat; his head wrung with sadness infront of her body. Jaypaw gasped what had he just dreamed? Had he prophecized Heatherpaw's death?! No... He wouldnt think of it... no he _couldn't_ think of it! Panic swept over Jaypaw; he looked outside, the wind was blowing hard and the brown and orange leaves were falling. Jaypaw burst out of the medicine cats den and bolted out of the camp.

Jaypaw past the Windclan markers, he past the open plains until he scented a big oak tree, not as big as the sky oak but close; Then he scented the dark ginger tom at the tree along with a pale brown she-cat! _Oh no!!! Heatherpaw!_ He thought as he raced towards them, the pale brown pelt was following a squirrel, he could feel the pawsteps "Heatherpaw!!!!!!" he called out to her but she didnt hear him and continued to follow the squirrel; the wind was blowing hard, he heard the roar of a monster coming up ahead _No! This cant happen!! I cant let this happen!!_ Jaypaw thought as he made it to the Tree "Lionpaw!!!" he yowled at his brother; who stopped "Jaypaw?" Jaypaw had no time to say anything more than "Lookout!!! Heatherpaw!!! The Monster is-" just then Heatherpaws ears twitched she heard him! The monster was roaring up at her, she was frozen in terror and then splat, a pool of blood lay on the thunderpath along with a motionless body and the whisper of agony in the wind, Jaypaw listening in fear of her voice but he heard Lionpaw's yowls of grief "Heatherpaw! no! you cant leave me now!" Jaypaws ears flattened "I would have saved her... I wasnt quick enough..." he whispered coarsely to himself "Oh Lionpaw its all my fault.." then he smelled Windclan and heard Crowfeather yowl desprately to his apprentice "Heatherpaw!! Quick! Get the medicine cat!".

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Soon Onestar, Barkface, and Owlwhisker were at the scene he heard Crowfeather mew to him "Jaypaw.. what are you doing here?" but all Jaypaw could say was "I wasn't there in time... I could have saved her.." his voice was rough and shooken, Crowfeather was concerned but he didnt try anything. Lionpaw was questioned and they found out about his relationship in no time. Jaypaw was escorted back; no Windclan cats asked a question, but they knew he tried to help, whatever that was.

Leafpool found him outside the den "Jaypaw.." she mewed "What were you doing?" Jaypaw shook his head "I... I had a dream... Leaves were falling and the wind was blowing hard, I was watching Lionpaw and Heatherpaw outside my body, In my dream Heatherpaw got hit by a monster... so wh-when i saw the weather I... I knew i didnt have much time..." his voice was coarse and a hard whisper, Leafpool nodded, Jaypaw could feel sympathy in her gaze though she said nothing. Oh what would Lionpaw think of him now? And the other cats would buzz with gossip "I'm sorry Heatherpaw... I couldnt save you.." he whinced and walked outside the camp, he didnt feel like being around any cat tonight, He felt the beams of the moon over him, up the old thunderpath and by the abandoned twoleg nest, he slept on the cold forest floor and looked up at the moon _Well at least I'm not going to be the only one who sleeps alone at night.._ he thought to himself.


End file.
